And To All a Good Night

Sometimes nothing beats the classics.





This blog post is sponsored by Bailey Brothers Building and Loan Association.

Glad to be Wrong

Apparently, I was overly pessimistic in my last post. Instead of choking mightily, my fantasy team, on the back of the dependable DeAngelo Williams, came from behind for a dominate 15 point win in the championship game. Instead of whining about what might of been I was able to send gloating videos, like the one below, to my vanquished foe. Let's just say I am not a gracious winner. And well I shouldn't be. After many, many, many fantasy leagues over the year, this is my first championship in a competitive league. So I think I am going to enjoy it as I clearly possess the unmatched managerial and strategical skills necessary to stand head and shoulders above my so-called peers. I just hope they present more of a challenge next year.

This blog post is sponsored by Buy N Large.

This Is How It Ends?

After 16 long weeks of setting line-ups, scouring the waiver wires, turning down ridiculous trade offers, dealing with the dubious activities of a ethically questionable commissioner, and racking up big points and a spot in the championship game, my fantasy team decided to take the week off. Anquan Boldin breaks his face earlier in the year and takes a week off to get over it but a sore leg keeps him out of the most important game of year. The Ravens defense waits until this week to play like a team of elderly steroid freaks and unconvicted criminals. Oh wait...check that last one. Anyway, they stunk up the joint and I am left with an empty feeling.

This blog post is sponsored by Omni Consumer Products.

Real-Time PCR, More Than Meets the Eye

I have already written about two high-production value, web-only, musical advertisements for the tools of science. Well, now Roche Applied Sciences has taken it to the next level and produced the eagerly awaited sequel to Transformers. And in a huge twist, - SPOILER ALERT! - the Decepticons have apparently taken on the shape of the DNA double helix. Although, if that is the case, why would the Autobots take the shape of a machine that makes more DNA? So many questions. I guess we will just have to trust the genius of Micheal Bay and wait until the official release date to get all of our answers. For now we will have to make due with this Roche-sponsored trailer. I don't know if this CGI-heavy advert makes me want to spend several thousand dollars on a PCR machine, but it does make me want to watch WALL-E again. And it continues this new tradition of spending a ton money on commercials that noone other than the dedicated nerdy will see.

For a point of contrast, let me also offer-up this truly awful example of attempted viral marketing by Promega. Matching this effort with the four I previously presented is an insult to the other four. They look to have had $5 and a Big Mac as their production budget. Even by YouTube standards this is sad. Heck, I am not entirorly sure that some undergrads didn't do this to fill time between running gels and pirating movies. I wouldn't even embarrass my blog by including this commercial if it weren't for an OCD-like drive for completeness. So in the interest of cataloging all of the efforts of the biotech giants to use new media to sell their wares, here is "Vlad in the lab".

This blog post is sponsored by the Ajira Airways
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When Shows are Nothing but Product Placements, the Commercials are the True Entertainment

I continue to contend that the best advertisements never make it to our TVs. Whether it is because they focus on too narrow a target audience (like lab coat clad test tube jockeys) or they are a tad bit too edgy (how this stuff is considered too edgy when the questionable content is bleeped out and shows like Grey's Anatomy are allowed to continue their assault on all that is good and descent I will never understand), we are missing out on some quality salesmanship. If my argument wasn't strong enough already, I now have two new pieces of evidence to present to the court. First is a combination of two of my most favorite things - geeky science in-jokes and boy bands (Why oh why have you forsaken us N*SYNC). If Eppendorf had the gumption to pony up the money for a TV broadcast for these entertaining productions, every kid would be asking Santa for a pipette in their stocking. For under the radar commercial number two, I give you a movie house exclusive. Not sure why this one hasn't seen the small screen yet. Catchy tune, funny lyrics. What am I missing? Is it the explosive combination of Wal-mart and Coke? Those two revelutionary brands being on the screen at the same time too much for the average consumer? Anyway, now that the commercial is on YouTube, I can finally learn the words to the new Christmas classic, "Joy! Enough to go Round". "My judo coach, my allergist, my MySpace friends, my Twitter list."

This blog post is sponsored by the Nakatomi Trading Corporation.

The Economy Does What Good Taste Couldn't

Today was an historic day in South Florida. The scourge of taste buds and stomachs alike has finally been defeated. R.J. Gator's has closed its doors. Sure, the novelty of eating gator meat makes for a nice change of culinary pace but not the way R.J. Gator's does it. I ate there once. Quite a horrible experience. All the food, including the non-gator items, was drenched in grease. My stomach was not happy that I subjected it to that greasy mess. It complained about it, quite loudly, for the rest of the night. My stomach and the gators of South Florida sleep a little more soundly tonight.

This blog post is sponsored by Goliath National Bank.

Typical McCain Voter

That horrible elitist Muslim terrorist is going to take my guns and tax my food stamps.

Our long national nightmare is finally over.


This blog post is sponsored by Hope.
(Yes, yes, I know this is incredibly cheesy but come on. The Republicans are out of office. I had to say something and I have a complete lack of creativity and originality.)

If These Walls Could Talk, They Would Scream in Pain

The reason my fantasy football team is so mediocre is because it is filled with interception machines and men that like to beat up on women instead of real studs like Chris Cooley. Just don't get between him in and a football unless you want a hole in your chest.

***On a related note - Can the talking heads finally acknowledge that Brett Farve is an overrated albatross to the team cursed with him and not an elite quarterback?***

This blog post is sponsored by Initech.

You Are What You Eat

If Hallmark created Valentine's Day then Hersey's has to be responsible for Halloween. The one time of year when it is socially acceptable to load your children up on sugar and high fructose corn syrup. But other than the all natural, life giving goodness of corn syrup, what is really going into the bellies of your little ones when they gobble down their spoils. Sure, we know what's in an apple (razor blades) but what about Laffy Taffy. It can't all be vitamins and minerals. There could possibly be something unhealthy mixed in with those real fruit flavors. Thankfully, an artist has given us a detailed view of the innards one popular confection. Those high-pitched noises you hear every time you eat a Gummi Bear? Their screams. And since we are the topic, enjoy some other Gummi Bear-related entertainment.

This blog post is sponsored by Gringott's Financial Services.

You Sunk My Battleship

Trailers are often the best part of a movie (see National Treasure 2 and Indiana Jones and the Retirement Home of Doom - subject of upcoming blog post). All of the best scenes cherry picked and strung together with a melodramatic voice over to give it gravitas. It has become an artform of sort. It seems it is easier to create a quality trailer than it is to make a quality movie. Heck, they keep convincing me to see Nick Cage movies (It has all been down hill since Con Air). Plus trailers allow you to save $20 and 2 hours of your life while still getting the same level of enjoyment. Is it any wonder then that there are some high quality trailers out there for movies they will never make? How could the movies ever live up to these comic gems? Add in the blatant name checking of my favorite childhood diversions in the first trailer, and I was sold. The second trailer - well just in time for Halloween is a horror movie that no one wants to see.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Goin' Rogue

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

This blog post is sponsored by Rich Industries.

Vice President of these United States

Much ink has already spilled detailing the many, many, many reasons Sarah Palin has no business being elected to the second most powerful office in the world. I get that there is very large segment of the U.S. population that feels they have no horse in this race. Already viamently opposed to supporting anyone from the donkey party or anyone who doesn't look like themselves, these individuals find no solace in a doddering, aged, and angry career politician who has betrayed everything he supposedly stood for in his futile pursuit of a lifelong dream. Despite thoroughly unconvincing lip service to the far right, the head of the conservative ticket has a record that is anything but. Therefore, this disenfranchised minority has irrationally latched itself on to a totem. No matter how undeserved the adulation maybe is immaterial, having something, anything that could potentially represents them and their beliefs in a world that they firmly believe is out to get them (watch out for that liberal media conspiracy) is all that matters. And that is how we arrive at this point. A golden calf by the name of Sarah Palin. In a world of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. But at some point doesn't common sense have to take over? Can't the lunacy of unquestioning Palin support finally be tempered in light of a wealth of evidence that she is not "The One"? I guess not.

One silver lining of the rise of Sarah Palin, is the truly classic comedy it has inspired, both intentional and not. Of course the most interesting and I guess depressing aspect of the now ubiquitous Tina Fey skits is that the funnest lines aren't scripted. They are words actually spoken by the real thing. What we find to be so hilarious is in fact the idiocy that we should be worried about having the keys to our kingdom. Now, I am not so narrow-minded as to confuse sounds bites for the true character of a person but what we have seen really doesn't support Palin's position as the great white hope. Even when she is participating in the fun, issues of concern are held to the light. Her comment to Lorne Micheals in one skit that she doesn't think her press conferences would go like that is just wrong. She is running for Vice President. We should know what her press conferences would be like. But we don't. Because her handlers don't allow her to have one. The person that is expected to be able to run a country can't be trusted to answer unscripted questions. Well, I guess I can understand that. Just look below to see how her one on one interviews went. Just imagine her in front of a crowd of reporters. Well, I am glad that the powers that be at least allowed her to do those limited questions and answer sessions. Otherwise, what else would we have to laugh at.

This post is sponsored by The Bluth Company.

A Real American Movie - GI Joe

My two favorite childhood cartoons/toy lines were the Transformers and GI Joe. So, I was suitably stoked when the Transformers live action movie was first announced. Thankfully, I was not disappointed when the final product arrived on the big screen (as long as I block out all of the scenes involving John Turturro). Now the men with the kung-fu grip are also heading to the silver screen (sometime in the summer of 2009). Hopefully they take the big budget approach and do this thing right (Lots of explosions, little talking, and maybe a weather control device that is broken into 3 pieces and scattered to the far corners of the world). With a live action He-Man movie also on the way, all we need now is a Thundercats extravaganza and my entire childhood will have been successfully mass marketed to a new generation.

Most of the casting for the primary roles has now been announced. For the most, the cast looks like a strong mix of notable character actors. People that should really provide some color to their cartoon-inspired roles. There are really only a couple disappointing or unusual choices though. I would have liked to have seen a more firmly established personality inhabit Duke, the alpha dog of the Joes. The selection of another bland, nameless, generic Hollywood boy toy to head up this effort seems to be a step in the wrong direction. Joseph Gordon-Levitt has done fantastic work in movies like Brick and the Lookout but doesn't seem to have the size or the age to pull off the Cobra Commander. I guess the choice of a prepubescent Duke required his nemesis to also be on the younger side. But again, a less than stellar casting choice. Overall, though, I would give a thumbs up to the cast. The international flavor is a nice touch. Marlon Wayans does seem like an odd choice but I imagine they wanted some comedy relief and he is just as good as anyone for that role. Although, I can think of some other G.I. Joe team members that would be better for him to portray for laughs than Ripcord. Shipwreck was always one of the cutups on the cartoon. Why not him? In choosing the Joes and the Cobra members to include in the movie, they did grab all the big ones. Flint and Lady Jaye must have just missed the cut on the Joe side and Serpentor and Dr. Mindbender would seem perfect for a sequel (Here is hoping this movie warrants one). I just hope the movie does not become the Ninja show. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow kind of took over the G.I. Joe comic book series. As a final show of the level of geekiness I have for the G.I. Joe world, I have matched up the actors from the movie with there cartoon counterparts. Others have done this but those lists are already out of date.

The Joes

Channing Tatum as Duke


Rachel Nichols as Scarlett


Dennis Quaid as General Hawk

Ray Park as Snake Eyes


Saïd Taghmaoui as Breaker


Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Heavy Duty

Marlon Wayans as Ripcord

Cobra


Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the Cobra Commander


Christopher Eccleston as Destro


Sienna Miller as the Baroness


Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow


Arnold Vosloo as Zartan

Don't Let the Door Hit You on the.......

All I can say is it is about time. The town of Green Bay can finally celebrate their freedom from the tyranny of one Brett Favre. The man that single-handedly robbed the nation of the Superbowl matchup everyone wanted to witness has mercifully decided to hang it up. Sure, there is going to be a portion of the Cheeshead nation that will miss his errant lame duck bombs every Sunday but the Packer organization can finally have a game plan that doesn't involve the quarterback running around like a chicken with his head cut off before closing his eyes and throwing the ball up for grabs. Now, I recognize that the man was one of the best quarterbacks for a 3 to 5 year period but since then he has been little more than a juiced up Don "Magic Man" Majkowski riding on the good will of a single Super Bowl victory (same number as the immortal Trent Dilfer and Brad Johnson). During that time he has built up numerous reasons to forget that period of above average-ness and come to see him as overrated and object of scorn. Here are my personal top 6 list of reasons I never want to see him mentioned as one of the game's best.

6. The last play of his career perfectly summarized his career.
5. John Madden's Man Crush
4. Making a mockery of Micheal Strahan's sack record by giving him a fake sack.
3. Addicted to drugs and an alcoholic but noone seems to care
2. His joke of a consecutive games streak record where he would sometimes play a single play and then come out (also hopped up on pain pills).
1. All-time leader in career interceptions just above luminaries like John Hadl and Vinny Testaverde

Update : The fine minds at ESPN see the truth about the overrated career of Brett Farve. At least those people at ESPN that weren't hosting a three hour retrospective/deification of the man.

The one good thing about Brett Favre...best wooden acting by an overrated Quarterback in a comedy classic. (The embedded video appears to be non-functional, so go here to view it)

Childrearing Techniques for the 21st Century

Exceptional steps must be taken to properly raise your child in an increasing violent modern world. To aid in your defense of your child's health and well being in the face of this ongoing offensive comes these new childcare products sure to be essential components of any caring parent's arsenal. Want to take your baby for a walk but a worried about stray bullets from drive-by shootings. Worry no more when the little tike is outfitted in his own Kevlar vest and bullet-proof stroller. Want to help your child stand-up to the playground bully. Outfit him in full riot gear and he will be able to quell any grade school uprising. Now, if we could just convince the government that our toddlers should be able to pack heat as well, then, we as parents, could rest easy knowing our children our properly equipped to face the world. Just ask these guys.

Because you care about your child's safety, you wouldn't trust he or she to any pimply-faced teenager or kindly hobo when you and your baby's momma need to go out on the town to celebrate your 50 cent an hour raise at the local KFC. Instead, hard-partying, meth-dealing parents should consider the use another revolutionary parenting device, the baby cage. Combine this with everyone's favorite babysitter, the television, and parents can enjoy a guild-free weekend bender secure in the knowledge that their little one will be properly sedated and free of the dangers of electrical outlets and your liquor cabinet. It sure beats the alternative of locking the kid in the car where busy bodies bar patrons can kill your buzz by calling the cops. As evidenced by the clip below, utilization of the baby cage in early childhood results in a healthy, happy adulthood.

Guns Don't Kill People, Free Access to Guns Kill People

Being that we are in the midst of an active political campaign that latches onto the latest headline in a desperate attempt to generate their own top of the fold notoriety, it is hard to believe there has been almost no conversation on gun control. Granted that the Democratic Party has become an impotent imitation of Republican opposition, but you would think the recent spate of mass shootings would be ceased upon for political capital. There is no defensible stance for the resistance to reasonable gun control. Sportsman can still have their guns but they don't need automatic weapons to kill Bambi's mom. Registering ballistics reports for every gun sold doesn't invade anyone's privacy, only makes catching criminals easier. Delaying the purchase of a gun months to do full background checks including declarations on mental history and use of psychoactive drugs doesn't negatively affect anyone other than looking to exact immediate vengeance on someone. If you want a gun, you need to prove you can handle it. I understand that the economy and Iraq should be center stage but how about some thought about getting our gun culture in check. Want to know how out of control it is, see the ad below.

RU-DY! RU-DY!

What can I say, I am a sentimental fool. I get misty eyed at the end of It's a Wonderful Life and don't even get me started on the end of Charlotte's Web (when all those horridly ungrateful baby spiders start leaving Wilber). Add a sports theme to the mix and you had me at hello. Come on, a boy and his dad connecting from beyond the grave over a game of catch. What stone visage could stand up to that? So, when Samwise Gamgee finally overcomes long odds and seemingly insurmountable obstacles to realize his lifelong dream of playing for Pope-worshiping Golden Domers to the chant of "RU-DY! RU-DY!", I became an instant fan of the movie. And believe it or not, this moment of lilliputian triumph actually happened. Below is the actual, real-life Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger footage and the Hollywood dressing up of that same action.

An Apple a Day

If there is one company that knows how to produce a catchy advertisement, it is Apple Computers. I guess you have to be good at selling an image when your business model is predicated on convincing people to shell out hard earned for over-priced, under-powered, proprietary, closed system technology. Apple is especially good at IDing cool new musical ditties that stick in your head like a starving brain sucker (my sisters always seemed to have one of those on their heads as children). If radio stations were this good at putting enjoyable music on the air, people might still listen to them. But then again, that is the way it is with all technology advertising. Convincing people to pay way to much to buy something they can't possibly use to its full potential. I have an iPhone that can synthesize food from air, diagnose disease, and fight crime at nights as a masked vigilante but I use it mostly to call my mom. Hey, but at least the $600 price tag came with a felling of self importance and belonging. And now a few of my favorite tech commercial parodies.

Sold on Science

Despite being a multi-billion dollar industry, you will never see an ad for a biotechnology company run during the Super Bowl. Up til now biotech ads have be relegated to the science geek ghetto of hard core, full frontal, peer-reviewed science journals. This meant of course that they always took the form of an exceedingly dry, stationary, 2-D solicitation. But thanks to the wonders of the internet, biotech companies can now finally enter the 19th century realm of moving pictures. And based on the geeky humor of these ads by microarray producer Illumina and general biotech supply company BioRad, biotech is ready to go straight to the big leagues. Come on, there are more people doing PCR than will ever drink PepsiMax (now with extra carcinogens).

Terry Tate - Office Linebacker

The hype for Super Bowl commercials has come to equal Super Bowl itself. We have been led to believe that millions of people watch the game just for the commercials but then again TV talking heads tell us a lot of things that aren't true. But it really seems that the water cooler quality of the Super Bowl commercials has really decreased over the last couple of years. Of course, I do view the commercials of Super Bowls of yesteryear through those rose colored glasses of nostalgia. In my day..... In reviewing past commercials, I saw a number of ads that I have a fondness for (Monster.com, EDS, and Budweiser) but not many greats. My favorites from this year had to be the Night at the Roxbury referencing Pepsi Max commercial (never funny as an SNL sketch but always amuses me when it is performed out of context) and the Barkley-Wade T-mobile ad. Of course nothing in this year's disappointing crop can equal the Terry Tate sales pitches introduced during the 2003 big game. Now that is quality pseudo-entertainment.

The NFL Writers Ran out of Good Ideas

The NFL season started with so much promise. Unlike so many past parity-stricken years, there appeared to be at least four truly dominant teams, one of historic proportions. We were on a path to some epic football clashes to conclude the year. But like a TV series (X-Files and hopefully not Lost) or movie (Independence Day because aliens use Macs) that develops a killer hook but does not have the intellectual wherewithal to pull off a satisfying conclusion, the NFL season died a painfully slow death of dashed hopes and squandered potential. None of the great match-ups materialized. Not one. We did not get Packers v. Cowboys, Colts v. Patriots, Cowboys or Packer v. Patriots. Just a bunch of mediocrity mindlessly meandering through the playoffs. At least the Super Bowl provided the hope that we would be able to observe history, even if it required replaying a game from just five weeks prior with a team quarterbacked by a guy that looks like the least intimidating member of a high school marching band (probably plays the French horn). Of course, to be consistent with the rest of the playoffs, the game was an underwhelming snooze-fest involving a Patriots team that came ready for a coronation ceremony instead of a football game. The whole season quickly went from historic to forgettable in the span of 5 weeks. And we won't even get into the 4th down non-holding call that allowed a vastly inferior Jacksonville team to triumph over the mighty and deserving Steelers. The only good thing that came out of this year's playoffs was this YouTube clip. It makes perfect sense to me that Hitler would both be a Cowboys fan and own a T.O. jersey.

The Majestic History of Chinese Culture

For all those who have adopted a young child from China, it is important ensure that child is made aware of the rich cultural history of their native country. This of course requires more effort than just buying copies of Mulan and Mulan 2:Enter the Dragon. It means actually researching what daily life in China actually consists of. Both in the years gone by and in today's modern world. In the case of the latter, it requires finding out how a typical Chinese child is educated, what his/her diet consists of, and what games they fill their leisure time with. To aide in this pursuit, I suggest that all those adoptive parents out there, run and purchase this new board game that is currently sweeping the land of Mao. It can provide fun for the whole family while immersing your little one in a truly Chinese experience.

Come on everyone, Smack the Lion

Why isn't this a Real Movie

From the people who brought you Facebook/Off, now comes the latest worldwide blockbuster, Minesweeper: The Movie. Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing a full length version of either of these. Are these movie ideas any worse than basing a 2 hour story on a 5 minute amusement park ride? And since we are considering making movies out of non-traditional computer-based properties, can we please have an Oregon Trail: The Movie?

More Time to Play with his Transformers

Bill Gates is calling an end to an era. He is stepping down as the head of day-to-day operations of Microsoft. It is hard to remember a day in my life when he wasn't serving as the most powerful man in the world. I guess he will just have to settle for the richest. And get this, he is quitting his day job to commit all of his time to giving away all his money. How un-American. To mark this moment in history, Mr. Gates has made a video detailing his transition. As fine an actor as the ultimate geek is, his farewell note is only the second best out of office memo produced by a powerful, well-known leader of men.

Bowl Fever - I Think I Got Vaccinated

This year's completely uninspiring college football season came to a merciful end this past Monday when the LSU Tigers completely humiliated the overmatched Ohio State Buckeyes. The game was unwatchable by halftime which is only appropriate because most of America had forgotten that the college football season was still ongoing by the time they got around to playing the "title" game. I hate to pull an "in my day" but in my day bowl season was actually entertaining. Even though the old system wasn't perfect, on New Year's day, you were assured of seeing all of the best teams in action. But now, New Year's day is reserved for fewer games composed of the second-tier teams and fifth-tier Illinois while all the "big" games are strung out as "events" unto their own. The old system would have given us the much preferable USC vs. Ohio State. Kansas vs. Virgina Tech could be entertaining as one of many games that you flip back and forth from but it ranks as a distant second to a rerun of Ugly Betty when it is the only football on TV. No playoff system successfully crowns the "best" team so we shouldn't concern ourselves with that for college football. Instead let's go back to the time when we had a day of 9-12 bowl games and a really great day of football. One game can be a blow out because one of the many other options will surely be heading to an exciting conclusion. I used to also walk both ways uphill in the snow.

About the only moment of the College Football title game with any suspense was the naming of Pontiac Game Changing Play of the Year Presented by Toyota. In the end, they went with 15 lateral play by Trinity to win their game against Millsaps. As you will see below, it would have been more meaningful if the other team hadn't quit trying at the end. By the time Trinity makes the final run for the goal line, there are many Millsaps players just standing around watching. Apparently they realized they were playing in a game that doesn't matter and no one cares about so if those fools were so determined to win, they can have it. It wasn't worth getting winded over.



Just to finish off this rant, I am also annoyed by the the talking heads insistence that the only worthwhile football takes place in the big conferences and that of the big conferences, the Big East is the weak sister. If you look at the final standings of bowl season as an indicator of conference strength you will see the truth. Not surprisingly the SEC is indeed the class of the nation but number two is the Mountain West Conference and that conference's one loss was a close game in which they lost their starting quarterback against a major conference opponent. Sure Hawaii was destroyed but Boise State and Utah have previously shown that the small conferences belong in the big bowls. I would rather have seen a tough BYU team take on Missouri than a mediocre Arkansas. At the least, the Mountain West teams should get all the bowl games that normally go to the ACC. They were just an embarrassment this year.

Final College Football Bowl Standings

Conference	W	L	GB
SEC	7	2	-
MWC	4	1	1
Big 12	5	3	1.5
Pac-10	4	2	1.5
Big East	3	2	2
S. Belt	1	0	2
Ind.	0	1	3
Big Ten	3	5	3.5
C-USA	2	4	3.5
WAC	1	3	3.5
MAC	0	3	4
ACC	2	6	4.5

American Gladiators

If you don't watch, you are un-American and must report to immediately to Guantanamo Bay for reeducation.

The Meek Shall Inherit Pain

There isn't much that warms my cockles more than seeing little kids bounce off hard surfaces. At least they are made of some combination of cement and rubber. They feel no pain and rarely break anything. Plus, they are like real people only smaller which makes it funny.

Ah, to be Young and Sick

The recent death of Phil Rizzuto (Hey I told you I was late to funerals) reminded me of those wonderful days of my youth when I was able to satisfactorily fain illness to convince my parents that my day was better spent on a couch than at a desk. As any meth dealer will tell you, there is nothing good on day-time television especially in the 80's when the choices were limited to the big 3 networks, PBS, and a couple of local affiliates. This led to sick days filled with reruns of the best 1970's television had to offer. Happy Days, Mayberry RFD, Gomer Pile, Beverly Hillbillies. High culture, for sure. Interspersed amongst the aged hilarity were some truly awful commercials that still stick with me to this day. One, of course, was the Money Store commercial with Phil Rizzuto that inspired this post. I had no idea that the man was a Hall of Fame baseball player, only that he wanted to sell me money (how does that work as a business exactly). The other was for the one, the only, Freedom Rock. Is that Freedom Rock, man? Well turn it up man. Classic.

The Pain and Suffering of our Outer Space Soldiers

Once again, not the most topical post. In fact, this post is so late to the party, we missed the funeral of the deceased's grandkids. But it is what tickles my fancy at the moment. I while back, some clever fellows figured out how to use the multi-player aspect of the smash video game Halo to stage and film their own sci-fi soap opera. Full of absurdist fun, the series, Red vs. Blue has actually run its entire course. Consisting of 5 "seasons" and a couple of special episodes, Red vs. Blue tells the story of ragtag group of mentally retarded astro-GI's fighting a battle of undetermined expectations and goals. Now you have the opportunity to watch the entire story unfold from beginning to end. No waiting for the release of the next episode. Just like I mentioned in my post about the show Day Break, this is an attractive feature for a fellow suffering with ADHD and constantly tortured by wait between doses of Lost. Plus, with the ongoing writers strike, Red vs. Blue is a much better option than the next episode of Super Nanny. All of season 5 can be downloaded from the official site. The rest can be had here. Presented for your enjoyment, Episode 1.....

Speaking of Lost, here is a fun summery of everything that has happened on the show up to this point. Can't wait til it comes back.

The Real Thing

An update to my recent post. I was able to find an MP3 of the Video Games Live! performance of the Mario Brothers' Theme Music. I am not sure if it is an authorized version but it sure does make me want that full sound track. Here it is for you to enjoy as well.

What It Would be Like to be Married to an Entire Choir

In my ongoing series on oddball music comes the appearance of Complaint Choirs. All of your most petty gripes set to a musical accompaniment. Release your daily frustrations while entertaining others (and call me weird, I do find it entertaining). I am now waiting for the appearance of the "Airline Lost my Luggage" Aria and the "Comcast is an Evil Monopoly that Milks Me for Every Cent I have yet Constantly Drops my Internet Signal" Carol. There are a million of message boards out there waiting for a matching melody.

Does This Make Them More Geeky

While we are on the theme of video game-inspired musical performances, here is a University of California Marching Band interpretation of Nintendo's greatest hits that was going around the net a couple of months ago. They hit on Pong, Tetris, Mortal Combat, Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, and Mario Brothers. In addition to the joy of hearing these classics boomed out with 76 trombones and 110 cornets, I particularly enjoyed the band geek posturing taking place on the message board of the YouTube video. Some self-absorbed fellows bragging up their competitive high school band, touting their ability to do the routine better in their sleep. Band nerds that perform scenes from video games are near the top of the dorkiness pyramid. But band nerds that hang out on YouTube message boards to trash talk out marching band's choreography takes it to a whole new level.

Modern Classical Music

It seems people have finally found a better use for all those concert halls than presenting poorly attended, stodgy operas or putting on the 1,342,922,102 orchestral rendition of Tchicovsky's 1812 Overature. Instead, some people have picked up on the idea that they can fill those seats by playing music most people of today know and love. At least on the subliminal level. Whose ears don't perk up with instant recognition at the first couple of notes of the Mario Brothers theme? Someday our grandkids will wonder they are forced to dress up and go to the theater for a performance Donkey Kong's Unfinished Symphony. My only question is why aren't they selling a CD of their performances of Video Games Live? I would like one please.



Speaking of good uses of empty concert hall seats, here is another fun one. Although less culturally relevant, still a fun bit of pop art utilizing a common language known world wide. Video games, especially our old 8-bit favorites, are now a firm part our shared history.

The Original Human SPACE INVADERS

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