The Muppets - This Week on Meet the Press

I am already on record of being big supporters of the Muppets.  Now I have one more reason to continue my life-long membership in their fanclub.

The Presidents The Way They Should Be

I continue to envy those that are skilled at the creative arts.  I like to pretend that I have some capacity at creative writing (I have the great American novel in me if only I had the time to write, I say to myself in my most delusional moments) but even my skewed self imagine doesn't allow me fool myself into thinking I can create anything that would be considered art.  Of course my definition of art is flexible.  Typically, the type of art that I appreciate most is that which allows us to visualize what ordinarily would only exist in our imagination.  And this is the kind of art I want to try to highlight every Thursday.  First up is what I think is a perfect example of the kind thing that I would create if I had any real artistic skill.  Jason Heuser created a series of posters that show us how our greatest president's would have responded to such real world issues as zombie outbreaks and Sasquatch invasion if they would have faced them while in office.  This is the world I want to live in and I appreciate those that can bring it to life. 

This blog post is sponsored by Schrute Farm.

Typical McCain Voter

That horrible elitist Muslim terrorist is going to take my guns and tax my food stamps.

Our long national nightmare is finally over.


This blog post is sponsored by Hope.
(Yes, yes, I know this is incredibly cheesy but come on. The Republicans are out of office. I had to say something and I have a complete lack of creativity and originality.)

You Sunk My Battleship

Trailers are often the best part of a movie (see National Treasure 2 and Indiana Jones and the Retirement Home of Doom - subject of upcoming blog post). All of the best scenes cherry picked and strung together with a melodramatic voice over to give it gravitas. It has become an artform of sort. It seems it is easier to create a quality trailer than it is to make a quality movie. Heck, they keep convincing me to see Nick Cage movies (It has all been down hill since Con Air). Plus trailers allow you to save $20 and 2 hours of your life while still getting the same level of enjoyment. Is it any wonder then that there are some high quality trailers out there for movies they will never make? How could the movies ever live up to these comic gems? Add in the blatant name checking of my favorite childhood diversions in the first trailer, and I was sold. The second trailer - well just in time for Halloween is a horror movie that no one wants to see.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Goin' Rogue

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

This blog post is sponsored by Rich Industries.

Vice President of these United States

Much ink has already spilled detailing the many, many, many reasons Sarah Palin has no business being elected to the second most powerful office in the world. I get that there is very large segment of the U.S. population that feels they have no horse in this race. Already viamently opposed to supporting anyone from the donkey party or anyone who doesn't look like themselves, these individuals find no solace in a doddering, aged, and angry career politician who has betrayed everything he supposedly stood for in his futile pursuit of a lifelong dream. Despite thoroughly unconvincing lip service to the far right, the head of the conservative ticket has a record that is anything but. Therefore, this disenfranchised minority has irrationally latched itself on to a totem. No matter how undeserved the adulation maybe is immaterial, having something, anything that could potentially represents them and their beliefs in a world that they firmly believe is out to get them (watch out for that liberal media conspiracy) is all that matters. And that is how we arrive at this point. A golden calf by the name of Sarah Palin. In a world of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. But at some point doesn't common sense have to take over? Can't the lunacy of unquestioning Palin support finally be tempered in light of a wealth of evidence that she is not "The One"? I guess not.

One silver lining of the rise of Sarah Palin, is the truly classic comedy it has inspired, both intentional and not. Of course the most interesting and I guess depressing aspect of the now ubiquitous Tina Fey skits is that the funnest lines aren't scripted. They are words actually spoken by the real thing. What we find to be so hilarious is in fact the idiocy that we should be worried about having the keys to our kingdom. Now, I am not so narrow-minded as to confuse sounds bites for the true character of a person but what we have seen really doesn't support Palin's position as the great white hope. Even when she is participating in the fun, issues of concern are held to the light. Her comment to Lorne Micheals in one skit that she doesn't think her press conferences would go like that is just wrong. She is running for Vice President. We should know what her press conferences would be like. But we don't. Because her handlers don't allow her to have one. The person that is expected to be able to run a country can't be trusted to answer unscripted questions. Well, I guess I can understand that. Just look below to see how her one on one interviews went. Just imagine her in front of a crowd of reporters. Well, I am glad that the powers that be at least allowed her to do those limited questions and answer sessions. Otherwise, what else would we have to laugh at.

This post is sponsored by The Bluth Company.

Guns Don't Kill People, Free Access to Guns Kill People

Being that we are in the midst of an active political campaign that latches onto the latest headline in a desperate attempt to generate their own top of the fold notoriety, it is hard to believe there has been almost no conversation on gun control. Granted that the Democratic Party has become an impotent imitation of Republican opposition, but you would think the recent spate of mass shootings would be ceased upon for political capital. There is no defensible stance for the resistance to reasonable gun control. Sportsman can still have their guns but they don't need automatic weapons to kill Bambi's mom. Registering ballistics reports for every gun sold doesn't invade anyone's privacy, only makes catching criminals easier. Delaying the purchase of a gun months to do full background checks including declarations on mental history and use of psychoactive drugs doesn't negatively affect anyone other than looking to exact immediate vengeance on someone. If you want a gun, you need to prove you can handle it. I understand that the economy and Iraq should be center stage but how about some thought about getting our gun culture in check. Want to know how out of control it is, see the ad below.

More Time to Play with his Transformers

Bill Gates is calling an end to an era. He is stepping down as the head of day-to-day operations of Microsoft. It is hard to remember a day in my life when he wasn't serving as the most powerful man in the world. I guess he will just have to settle for the richest. And get this, he is quitting his day job to commit all of his time to giving away all his money. How un-American. To mark this moment in history, Mr. Gates has made a video detailing his transition. As fine an actor as the ultimate geek is, his farewell note is only the second best out of office memo produced by a powerful, well-known leader of men.

How Can I Get This Job - Seriously

South Florida politics are murkier than the polluted swamps that cover the state. As Carl Hiaasen has said,

The Sunshine State is a paradise of scandals teeming with drifters, deadbeats, and misfits drawn here by some dark primordial calling like demented trout. And you'd be surprised how many of them decide to run for public office.

It is home to Mark Foley and the original non-gay gay Republican politician, Bob Allen, head of John McCain's Florida Campaign. Nothing is more representative of this phenomenon than the Palm Beach County Commission (let's not talk about the 2000 presidential election - it will just make me sad). These guys make an outrageous $92,000 a year for a local government position. The state senators of Florida are only considered part time and make a salary of about $30,000 (before kick backs). Despite the obvious generosity of the tax-payers, Palm Beach residents have lost two of their seven commissioners in 2007 due to indictment. That's is nearly 30% of the commissioners that committed crimes while in office. Warren Newell and ex-chairman Tony Masilotti were both sentenced to 5 years in jail for using there votes to make money. Seems kind of unfair since Masilotti got to temporarily enjoy 10 million dollars in ill-gotten gains while Newell only stole 500k. But then Masilotti had a drug habit to support and we all know that isn't cheap. In the end though, Palm Beach County Commissioners have only one power that is worth anything and that is determining zoning on real estate and apparently these two knew how to use it (just not how to use it without getting caught). If that wasn't bad enough, a third commissioner, Mary McCarty, appears to be a very mean lady who picks on her poor, defenseless fellow commissioners. So, I go back to my original question. How do I get this job? A do nothing job that pays almost 100k and a person that limits their misdeeds to drowning puppies looks like a choir boy. Elect me. Just tell me how.

Good Question

Youtube and CNN had the brilliant idea of allowing the voting public to ask the questions at the next Democratic presidential debate. Of course, the questions will be vetted by CNN so I imagine the questions will sound alot like all the other questions asked at all the other debates. Lots of gay marriage, abortion, war, and the evils of George Bush. And a lot of empty answers from spineless Democrats afraid to stand up to the Republican minority. But the thought was nice.

There was one video submission that really struck home with me. It of course focused on the media fixation de jour but the central conceit was right on. It dealt with the out of whack funding priorities in this country. How much money is going into destroying and then rebuilding another country and how little is going into the scientific research that could save lives here in this country for decades to come. Time to put some of that juice into other cups.

By the way, the central plot line of Flight Plan is so ridiculously implausible it ruins the entire movie. No one sees the little girl? No one? And the bad guys entire, elaborate plan rides on this implausibility. How could they possibly even imagine this to be a viable idea for a crime or a movie?