Monday, January 16, 2012

The Worst Thing in the World Ever (or Maybe Just Right Now)

Speaking of the movie that I would give my Razzie vote to as worst movie of the year – Twilight : What To Expect When You Are Expecting Vampire Spawn Part 1…. What an awful, awful viewing experience.  I don’t think words can express how truly bad this movie was.  And really, I won’t try.  It is pointless at this point.  One thing the internet is not short on is Twilight take downs (One thing the internet is short on – more little kids getting hit in the head with oversized balls please).  It would be like staking Edward after Buffy and Abram Lincoln were already done with him.  So, instead of piling on with yet one more overwrought dissection of this cult phenomenon’s sexism, disturbing messages to teen-age girls, or undercover Mormon evangelism, let me instead just highlight the most memorable moment for me from this most recent episode of “As the Pampered Teen-Ager Pouts”.  And can there really be any argument about this.  Clearly the best part of this movie, ney, the whole series, is when the spurned werewolf of the central love triangle falls instantly in love with the less than 1 day old vampire progeny of the story’s protagonist upon locking eyes with it (By the way, the resolution of the love triangle in Stephanie Meyer’s other book “The Host” was equally creepy and off-putting).  Then, in the translating of bad book writing by poor screenwriting into dreadful cinema, the vampire boy narrates this perverse bond of man and child wife for the benefit of the audience (It is their most sacred law).   So, you don’t misunderstand there cosmic bond.  For more Twilight bashing, enjoy the below video. 

By the way, the remake of Arthur is actually pretty good.



Solitaire Update

So much for that upward climb I was crowing about last time.  I seem to have plateaued in my rapid ascension to solitaire royalty.  Of course, their might have been another reason for my continued improvement overtime besides the one I gave the last time.  And that is my addled, aged mind and its inability to keep track of how many games I have actually played at any given time.  I give it the old college try but many times I find myself asking, was that game four or five.  To my benefit, when I do question myself, I go with the higher number.  Darn you natural aging process.

There is one other variable in the ebbs and flows of my success and failure - the device and version of solitaire I play my games on.  I tend to play my games with either the default Microsoft Solitaire on my laptop or the game that is found on my Blackberry.  Originally, I had assumed these to versions of the game both simulated the randomness of a deck of cards.  But I am not so sure anymore.  It may just be me (and I am not willing to do the game tracking to figure this one out.  At least not yet.) but it seems like the Blackberry pays out fewer winners than the laptop one.  I don't think I ever came across a gutter ball (a hand that you can't make a single card play with) on the laptop but I know I have with the Blackberry.  It seems to me that the laptop always gives you a chance to win, you just have to make all of the right moves.  But the Blackberry simulates the truth of the cold, hard world.  Or it could just be my senior brain playing tricks on me again.

Day 35 – 0 of 9
Day 36 – 3 of 18 (3.75, 48.52)
Day 37 – 3 of 9 (200.5, 3.88, 50.51)
Day 38 – 1 of 9 (202.5, 3.75, 48.58)
Day 39 – 0 of 9 (203)
Day 40 – 2 of 5 (203, 3.5)
Day 41 – 2 of 8 (200.5)
Day 42 – 4 of 10 (200.5, 4, 52.16)
Day 43 – 1 of 5 (201.5, 4, 51.54)
Day 44 – 0 of 11 (201.5, 4, 51.34)
Day 45 – 1 of 5 (200.5)
Day 46 – 0 of 6 (201, 4.01, 50.41)
Day 47 – 2 of 10 (200.5, 4, 50.11)
Total - 72 of 432 (16.7%)
 
This blog post is sponsored by Knight Industries.

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