Typical McCain Voter

That horrible elitist Muslim terrorist is going to take my guns and tax my food stamps.

Our long national nightmare is finally over.


This blog post is sponsored by Hope.
(Yes, yes, I know this is incredibly cheesy but come on. The Republicans are out of office. I had to say something and I have a complete lack of creativity and originality.)

If These Walls Could Talk, They Would Scream in Pain

The reason my fantasy football team is so mediocre is because it is filled with interception machines and men that like to beat up on women instead of real studs like Chris Cooley. Just don't get between him in and a football unless you want a hole in your chest.

***On a related note - Can the talking heads finally acknowledge that Brett Farve is an overrated albatross to the team cursed with him and not an elite quarterback?***

This blog post is sponsored by Initech.

You Are What You Eat

If Hallmark created Valentine's Day then Hersey's has to be responsible for Halloween. The one time of year when it is socially acceptable to load your children up on sugar and high fructose corn syrup. But other than the all natural, life giving goodness of corn syrup, what is really going into the bellies of your little ones when they gobble down their spoils. Sure, we know what's in an apple (razor blades) but what about Laffy Taffy. It can't all be vitamins and minerals. There could possibly be something unhealthy mixed in with those real fruit flavors. Thankfully, an artist has given us a detailed view of the innards one popular confection. Those high-pitched noises you hear every time you eat a Gummi Bear? Their screams. And since we are the topic, enjoy some other Gummi Bear-related entertainment.

This blog post is sponsored by Gringott's Financial Services.