But Will They Still Be Able To Host Marti Gras

It seems clear that Owen Wilson tried to kill himself. Someone who takes this kind of action has significant mental health issues. The kind that can't be solved by a quick stay in a Hollywood rehab spa. Now, you wouldn't expect the delusional individuals that cover show biz for a living to completely grasp the complexity of issues tied up with suicide and recovery from it, but I say one article that I am still shaking my head about. In Entertainment Weekly there as an article the actually had the gull to say;

"The report that Owen Wilson, the 38-year-old comic actor known for his easygoing demeanor, had attempted suicide was shocking and sobering for both fans and the industry. And it left many people wondering how this sensitive situation will affect the in-demand actor's workload."

Yes, that was what everyone wanted to know. How does Owen Wilson failed attempt to end his own life effect my ability to see Shanghai Noon III? I am not suggesting anyone send flowers to the Wilson family and even shed a tear for someone you will never meet. But still suicide attempt. No one is wondering when he is going back to work.

Make It Stop

TV has long been blamed for the corruption and dumbing down of our society. Well, it appears that TV has decided stop fighting that image and started to deliberately produce shows intended to cause our brains to eat themselves. The worst part of this story is that the demonic creatures that now run TV have decided target the most innocent, helpless portion of our society. No, not the president. Babies and toddlers, insuring that the next generations best skill will be drooling on themselves. I first suspected this when I watched some of the Baby Einstein videos. They purport to have some educational value but to me it seemed that all babies learned to do was zone out in front of the glowing box. Of course, it has since been confirmed that these videos do make you dumber. Now comes the most insidious plot yet to kill brain cells, Yo Gabba Gabba. Watch the clip above and you will have glimmer of the danger this show poses (This blog is not responsible for mental or physical issues that may result from watching this toxic waste). To truly appreciate the evil genius of this show, you have to hear and see the performance of the "Jumpy Jump" song. It is freely downloadable at the show's MySpace page (Of course it is free. The purveyors of this filth are only interested in destroying us, not making a profit). But again, I must warn you to listen to this at your own risk. It is really sticky and is the enemy's most effective weapon in the destruction of intelligent life. I am still trying to free myself from it. Soon we will all end up like the character's in Will Ferrell's latest web video (below) or everyone in "The Invasion". Please, storm Nick Jr. studios. Throw your TV's out. Just don't let Yo Gabba Gabba into your house.

Don't Take Your Sports so Seriously

There is no doubt that I am a big sports nerd. I have long been a participant in fantasy sports games and have wasted several years of my life playing sports video games dating back to Intellivision. It is not surprising then that I also utilize sports commentary columns and radio shows to procrastinate at work. I have found though that I am not a big fan of the straight sports news story, instead preferring those voices that mix pop culture and politics with their sports talk. This is one of the reasons that my afternoon commute (all 10 minutes of it) is spent listening to occasional PTI host Dan Le Batard's local radio show. It is 25% sports, 75% nonsense. This is also the reason that I have followed the Tuesday Morning Quarterback column through it's many incarnations. I originally started to read the column on ESPN.com. But when the tastefully named Gregg Easterbrook angered his mousy overlord, he was forced to take his show on the road. Originally starting the TMQ column on Slate.com before moving to the big time at ESPN, Easterbrook was forced to move the vagabond opinion piece yet again, this time to NFL.com. Apparently Mickey has a short memory because TMQ is now back at ESPN. Some speculate that this is due to the departure of Micheal Eisner who was criticized in the objectionable article. I don't care were I find TMQ as long as I can print it up for travel to the porcelain jungle.

Easterbrook holds a position at the left of center political think tank the Brookings Institute, writes for the left leaning New Republic, and has published commentary on Christian theology. So naturally, his TMQ articles are filled with asides about happening in politics, ethics, and as a true geek, the factual errors of science fictions shows. These commentaries are not straight unbiased reporting either. The words of TMQ definitely are meant to advance the agendas of its author. I have learned to take the non-football reporting with a grain of salt. The level of spin added to some stories obfuscates the truth sometimes. For instance, I have found his campaign against the continued glorification of violence in the movies to be right on target but specific descriptions and accounts of scenes in the "Passion of the Christ" did not turn out to be on target when I actually saw it. Same goes for his recent comments on the last Harry Potter. I thought he had one of the most insightful comments yet about the last Harry Potter book when he wondered aloud why the good guys didn't use guns against the evil wizards when it was made clear the wizards were vulnerable to projectile objects. But the remaining issues that he listed made it sound like he hadn't read a page of the book or any other in the series. Although it is a horribly weak plot device, Rowling made it clear in a previous book that the Sorting Hat could produce the Sword of Gryffindor. (On a side note, I liked Stephen King's comment that habit of the kids coming up with a brand new spell every time they were in danger was lazy writing) There were many, many, many problems with the Harry Potter books that should have made them unreadable to adults. TMQ just didn't pick up on them. Despite all that, TMQ is still my third favorite place to catch up on current events. It is also a fantastic way to avoid doing the work piling up on your desk.

Because Your Butt Deserves the Very Best

Really? Do people really have such an excess of disposable income that this is actually a viable product? A toilet seat with it's own remote control. I stumbled across this and I sure am glad I did. It turns out that all I needed to cure my severe depression was a 21st century update to toilet paper. At least they put up a first class website to front their advertising campaign. Nothing more amusing than watching people try to discuss a delicate issue such as butt hygiene while trying to move product and be up beat. The naked rump smiling faces are just the start the of the fun. More companies should consider nudity in their corporate logos.

Brothers by Other Mothers

Militant actor George Clooney and Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal. Separated at birth or really the same person? Ask yourself this - have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time?

Good Science

In line with the rationale for this blog, I wanted to note several fine science-related news articles from American's most reliable source of news, The Onion. I have been a big fan of The Onion since being an undergrad and working for a University of Wisconsin alumni that subscribed to the Madison-based satirical paper. Always funny with dead-on comedy and commentary. With science being near and dear to my heart, their mockery of the lab coat clad always gave me particular joy. With that here are a few of the favorites.

World's Scientists Admit They Just Don't Like Mice

Super Monkey Collider Loses Funding

Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

Eight is Enough, Nine is Enough, Ten is Enough....

The news is out that the Dugger litter has added another puppy (the 17th) on their personal crusade to overpopulate the world. The baby factory says they are not done. I can see why, one more and they can field two full baseball teams. Until then, the kids have to include children that aren't their siblings in their 9 on 9 scrimmages. And who wants to be exposed to the outside world?

Actually, this story and the attention it gets disgusts me. Especially because it feeds right into the raging egomania of the parents that drives this nonstop reproduction. They may feel really special about having a constantly knocked-up woman of the house but what about the children. Don't they deserve a real mom, not one that is constantly incapacitated. The unbelievable selfishness of these people. They readily admit that the only way the household can run is if each of the older kids parent that younger ones. I know, how about the parents parent their kids? Oh yeah, they are too busy enjoying their appearances on the Today show and the Discovery Channel to worry about that. When do their kids get to be kids? To top it all off and to make sure the kids are shielded from the realization that their family is profoundly screwed up, they "home-school" them. This is, of course, a euphemism for keeping them dumb and indoctrinated. Plus they would lose the free day care for the young ones if they sent the old ones to school. Just the idea of successful "home-schooling" with this number of kids, with this wide an age range, and a teacher that is always on maternity leave makes no sense. I am guessing graduation requires them to successfully fake being literate. Now that the mom is getting up there in age, I imagine that this families mission to populate an entire city from a single uterus won't seem like so much fun when the first Downs kid shows up. Some one needs to stop these fame whores before they damage more kids lives for their own glory.